Sorry this is so long
I think I might be a system, maybe median, but it could be BPD which I recently figured out I might have.
Basically, I feel like my emotions are different entities/people or something but still me, like when I’m mad and having a fight (verbally) with my parent, it’ll be like I’m in the back watching myself yell and say some bad things to my parent on impulse and I can’t stop, same with sometimes I’ll do a action or say something or make a noise and I’ll feel like that wasn’t me. also, one time I was having a hard day and I was thinking and there were several things going on where I’m telling myself to shut up while my other thoughts was saying bad things about me and that I’m awful, and then out of no where a voice said “it’s ok, it’ll be ok” In such a nice compassionate way I nearly started crying.
It feels like separate people/or like separate mes who act differently, but there isn’t enough to identify as actual headmates. I don’t experience any amnesia but I do experience almost constant dissociation. Idk if this explain why I like we/us pronouns either. It’s probably just my bpd and intense emotions but idk for sure. Idk if this even explains it well. (I also feel like a different person alone and when social, idk why that is)
If anyone can help me understand that would be greatly appreciated
-wilbur
