Prefacing this by saying it will be singular 'I', however honestly doesn't matter much I expect for now

Also this post is *long*, in part because I have yet to be able to type with any decent shortness. Sorry! 😞

After finding this site and skimming around, combined with an unreasonable amount of knowledge about my own head, I'm pretty sure I have a grasp on things now.

However I felt it would be best if I lay the details out and asked to be sure.

I've *always* had an insanely malleable sense of self-

I have no preffered form, and my gender is a sort of agender-gendervoid. (Pronouns they/them/Any btw).

I have a sort of consistent feeling of very minor ego death- in other words the barrier between what I consider 'me' and the outside world is pretty thin

I've always been insanely good at manipulating my sense of self, or imaging my sense of self as something different- when I was a kid I'd imagine how I could fight better if I decided to change my sense of self into that of completely random animals at will, for example.

And yes, this extended to knowing with enough effort I could probably create what I now know to be some sort of system.

Perhaps in part because I *did* do that I think for a very short time- when I was very young, although I think everyone just assumed I was being ridiculous due to my age and other mental stuff at the time. (Had this system stuck around it would have resulted from trauma likely).

That disappeared though, due to a lot of events.

All of this soul-maleability though means I have so much control over my mind, that not only do I think I could create a system but I'm pretty sure merge it back together just as easily.

In the same way I can change my souls desired *shape* at will to suit my needs and preferences (such as a better fighter), I may also be able to change my souls *number* in the same way.

This ability is likely compounded by the fact that I don't really have an identity right now in the first place- past stressers mean I have very little attachment to anything, but a good understanding of quite a lot of things.

That thing everyone tells kids? 'You can be anything you want since you aren't there yet'?

I'm that *way* more literally and at almost 25 years old.

To be clear, I am probably hyping this up a bit much considering the subject matter- I don't want to disrespect anyone.

As I said I don't currently have an identity, which means no accomplishments to be proud of.

So to know my suspicions may have been right all along, that I have so much control over my soul now that I might be able to speak of it as a unique ability..

Kind of hard not to speak of it with frantic pride xp. Genuinely, sorry about that.

I'd appreciate any and all comments, and also if anyone knows of a more general name I could look for on this I'd appreciate it.

I guess like the name for 'level of a person's ability to create and/or merge systems'?

Thank you all for reading any or all of this!

-Lind Morn