But a lot of times It feels like I don’t control my body or something
To explain more: I’m a really impulsive person I feel (and I might also have bpd) and I’m for sure certain I have a dissociative disorder like depersonalization/derealization
Its never felt like anyone has really taken control of my body, but sometimes I do things that don’t feel like me doing. I’ll make a sound or say something and it feels like it was forced out of me and not something I did. And sometimes if I’m doing something it feels like I’ll return back to my body and I’m kinda unaware of what I’m doing, but I knew what I was doing before, but it wasn’t me doing it
A lot of my actions feel like that, I was doing something but it wasn’t ME doing it
This happens a lot, say if I just posted something I’ll come back to it a couple minutes later and I’ll get scared because I don’t remember ME doing it but I remember doing it
I made a post mentioning “my name is Angus” (im nomifluid) and at first I didn’t recognize it when I looked back on it and though “WAIT who’s Angus, who made this post?”
It definitely doesn’t feel like a own person is in my body with me, it just doesn’t feel like me doing things
Idk, I’m so confused
(also when this happens I get kinda in a frozen shocked state for a second, that’s how much it bothers me)
(also my dissociative disorder acts up a lot so it might just be that)
(I also often have a hard time knowing who I am/my identity and have changing interest a lot)
(also also, there will be time when I might feel more confident and cranky and times when I might feel more childish and dumb and it feels like me but also not me at the same time)
Im just so scared idk what happening