hi all <3 ! i’m dice, and i’m 90% sure i am a system. we’re traumagenic i believe, but i don’t know if we’re disordered or not.
h very new to this- but i’ve done research and a lot of internal thinking and questioning. we have two known facets- little one and lycelius. for the longest time whenever i had a breakdown, was stressed, overstimulated, etc. i described it as having different versions of me all living in my head. when i was stressed, the ‘little one’ (<- origin of his name) came out and pushed on all the buttons that controlled me. i felt shoved aside and had to fight to get my hands back on the control. it felt a lot like the headquarters in Inside Out, though instead of emotions they were… different. this happened (and happens still) very often, and the defining features of this ‘little one’ that came out was that they were selectively mute, age regressed, and little. when able to talk they used baby talk and typing quirks when typing.
since i found out about DID, i felt drawn to it but knew i didn’t have it. i shoved it aside, but then found out about OSDD and other plurality. i felt even more drawn to it, and this time couldn’t really shake that feeling.
doing research, little one made himself much more known. through gut feelings, i found out his pronouns, age, and other things. for example i know he loves baby blue and plushies. we’ve even somewhat communicated- though not through words. it’s kind of just.. sensing the feelings and thoughts as if they were your own, though they’re not quite.
as of now we identify as a median monoconscious system, possibly varion. i also am the host and blanketself, as the facets are very much that- versions of me with exaggerated traits or interests.
we have no amnesia blocks, also.
so… basically, my reasoning for typing all this out here is that i’m completely unsure if we are disordered or not. if we are… i’d like to try to get a diagnoses or something. it would bring me peace of mind and prevent myself from fakeclaiming us, which is hard for me not to do. it would also help us tell our family and friends and explain it to them.
the things i’ve heard about OSDD-1 are conflicting. some say they have less defined alters and little to no amnesia gaps, but others say it’s much like DID. i’ve heard that if you fit both criteria for OSDD-1a and 1b, then it’s just OSDD-1. what of this is true or false? of course various people’s experiences will be different, but they seem to be opposite from one another.
thanks anyone for listening and responding to this ramble, i hope this wiki is active enough for somebody to give some advice… thank you <3 !
