All posts by Hollidazed

Anyway, crisis moment, so im back at this wiki and looking at my old post

I see this wikis pretty inactive now :/

So how do endogenic systems form, i see lots of people say endogenic systems arent osdd or did, which are formed by trauma,

I dont see anyway that makes sense that any system could be formed, except by will or maybe something spiritual, because there is really no reason why the brain would create other personalities

Osdd and did are created by a traumatic experience [typically a really bad one] during someones childhood [typically at or before age 7 or 10], and the brain will create a split personality because it sees the traumatic experience as so bad that the child wont survive and it creates another personality to hold the trauma. it also happens at younger ages because a childs brain is still developing and hasnt fully formed its own personality [7 is the age that a child typically loses their imaginary friend]

So why would the brain create other personalities if there is no reason behind it doing so

Are people born plural, or what

What are peoples explanation for this

It’s happening again where I’m questioning being a system because reality is incomprehensible

Not much to say/ask just, headmasters don’t have to have names and be super clear, right, and can you constantly be front

I often experience times when I feel like a other version of myself where I do things that aren’t like me but it’s me but it’s so weird idk maybe it’s just dpdr

(I have a few more post that explain my experience a bit better)

I feel like I’m just overreacting

That I’m going too far

I don’t know if I’m a system and I just want to be told I’m not so I don’t have to worry anymore

It doesn’t feel like there’s someone else in my brain it just feels like I don’t have control

Im so sryyyyy ueueueuehddisndjdiwjsj

If your a questioning system (don’t know if ur a system) how would you talk to potential head mates if you have any

Like if I happen to have headmates but I don’t know anything about them or how to interact with them, what could I do

(does this make sense, this makes no sense aaaaa)

But a lot of times It feels like I don’t control my body or something

To explain more: I’m a really impulsive person I feel (and I might also have bpd) and I’m for sure certain I have a dissociative disorder like depersonalization/derealization

Its never felt like anyone has really taken control of my body, but sometimes I do things that don’t feel like me doing. I’ll make a sound or say something and it feels like it was forced out of me and not something I did. And sometimes if I’m doing something it feels like I’ll return back to my body and I’m kinda unaware of what I’m doing, but I knew what I was doing before, but it wasn’t me doing it

A lot of my actions feel like that, I was doing something but it wasn’t ME doing it

This happens a lot, say if I just posted something I’ll come back to it a couple minutes later and I’ll get scared because I don’t remember ME doing it but I remember doing it

I made a post mentioning “my name is Angus” (im nomifluid) and at first I didn’t recognize it when I looked back on it and though “WAIT who’s Angus, who made this post?”

It definitely doesn’t feel like a own person is in my body with me, it just doesn’t feel like me doing things

Idk, I’m so confused

(also when this happens I get kinda in a frozen shocked state for a second, that’s how much it bothers me)

(also my dissociative disorder acts up a lot so it might just be that)

(I also often have a hard time knowing who I am/my identity and have changing interest a lot)

(also also, there will be time when I might feel more confident and cranky and times when I might feel more childish and dumb and it feels like me but also not me at the same time)

Im just so scared idk what happening

-This is right after my other post but I wanted to keep this seperate

I feel like I have double thoughts

Like I can think two things at the same time

Like two voices talking over each other is the best I can describe

Idk how to explain

What is this

I also feel like I do t know who I am and what my identity is

Again sry this doesn’t belong here, idk where else to ask

What does it mean when you don’t recognize your body

And that your imagination feels like reality and often mistake or think what you imagined happened

And how do you know if your etherian

Im sry if this doesn’t belong here, this is the only place I knew to go

Sorry this is so long

I think I might be a system, maybe median, but it could be BPD which I recently figured out I might have.

Basically, I feel like my emotions are different entities/people or something but still me, like when I’m mad and having a fight (verbally) with my parent, it’ll be like I’m in the back watching myself yell and say some bad things to my parent on impulse and I can’t stop, same with sometimes I’ll do a action or say something or make a noise and I’ll feel like that wasn’t me. also, one time I was having a hard day and I was thinking and there were several things going on where I’m telling myself to shut up while my other thoughts was saying bad things about me and that I’m awful, and then out of no where a voice said “it’s ok, it’ll be ok” In such a nice compassionate way I nearly started crying.

It feels like separate people/or like separate mes who act differently, but there isn’t enough to identify as actual headmates. I don’t experience any amnesia but I do experience almost constant dissociation. Idk if this explain why I like we/us pronouns either. It’s probably just my bpd and intense emotions but idk for sure. Idk if this even explains it well. (I also feel like a different person alone and when social, idk why that is)

If anyone can help me understand that would be greatly appreciated

-wilbur