Ok so I'm the host and as far as I know the one who discovered the system. Some backstory, in 9th grade, I started hearing a voice in my head, who would talk to me and say really bad stuff about me, and I was able to talk back to it. Eventually the voice named itself Scarlette, and said that it went by They/Them pronouns. They even told me what they look like. They even talked through me (which I now realize was them fronting). Eventually they went quiet and I forgot about them until around last year. When I went to a theatre intensive, there I met someone with DID (which they referred to as MPD) On the last day, before the preformance, I got in argument with my mom. Which led to me realizing my mom may also be toxic [I don't think she is anymore, but my dad definitely is] this realization, broke me and led me to come to the conclusion that showing emotions wasn't safe. After this, I got in an argument with one of my parents. When this happened I dissociated and someone else took control of my body. I soon found out that this was Scarlette. As I had forgot about this, I immediately thought I was faking. This feeling of faking made Scarlette REALLY angry as they felt I was denying their existence. Since then we've done research which ked us to believe we have OSDD-1b. Our life was also really stressful then, which led to 9 more alters forming over time. Eventually over these past few months, our headcount has reached 16. I'm getting better at not fakeclaiming the system, but it's hard to not go into denial, especially when I personally go back and look at my early childhood. I can't pinpoint any signs of me being a system, not even small ones. Does anyone have any tips on how to get out of denial episodes?
- Bex (They/Them)